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May. 10th, 2008


Moving The Works

I'm no longer updating here. The archives will stay, but I'm movin' on up! You can find my psychotic ramblings now at:

Big girl with a big girl blog. Come on over!

Feb. 6th, 2007


Oh good LORD, a 200 question survey. Aren't you peeing in anticiaption????

1. What are you wearing right now? flannel robe, yoga pants, fuzzy slippers.Yeah, I'm bringning sexy back.

2. What is your favorite name? Emilia for a girl, Logan for a boy, and yes, that is because of Wolverine. Did you not get the memo that I am a dork?

3. Have you ever been camping? Yes, but my idea of "roughing it" would be "limited hours room service."

4. Do you like photography? Meaghan takes some awesome pictures. And I love that dude in NYC who takes all the pics of hundreds of nakey people in public places.

5. Hot or cold? COLD. Savannah in August, people. No fun.

6. Are you a neat freak? Only when I'm PMSing. Otherwise, no.

7. What was the last movie you saw in a theater? Technically, "Honey I Shunk the Audience" at Disney. It sucked.

8. Have you ever made a blood oath? Only to myself.

9. How do you usually dress? Black, black, nothing but black.

10. Have you ever broken a bone? I cracked my tailbone twice. Not. Fun. DO NOT WANT.

11. What does your name mean? Hellion.

12. Explain your political beliefs. As bleeding heart liberal as they come.

13. Have you ever committed suicide? Not successfully.

14. Jeans or skirt? Skirt. Black.

15. Do you believe in God? It pains me to admit it, but yes, most days.

16. Last time you saw your dad? December 29th. I lurve my daddoo.

17. What's your favorite movie? The Dark Crystal, methinks. But this changes all the time.

18. Do you consider yourself religious? Not in the slightest, despite the efforts of the AC repair guy who tried to convert me the other day. Sorry, dude!

19. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was
the first thing you thought? GodDAMN, I need a haircut, yeesh.

20. Flip-flops or slippers? Jack Sparrow flip flops, HOLLA!

21. Kleenex or Puffs? I usually just use toilet paper.

22. Is it Pet's Mart or Pet Smart? PetSmart, although I have never given this an ounce of thought until now.

23. Do you have a soul? Heh. Heh heh heh. Depends on who you ask.

24. Have you ever been to college? College, more college, and grad school. People keep asking if I will go back for my doctorate, and I laugh until I vomit.

25. Have you ever seen Nine Inch Nails in concert? Huh. Actually, no. Weird.

26. Touch or be touched? DON'T TOUCH ME.

27. Group or single dates? What is this "dating" you speak of?

28. Explain what you think about abortion? PRO CHILD, PRO FAMILY, PRO CHOICE.

29. Would you go rock climbing? Would that involve getting out of my pajamas? Then no.

30. Land or water? Water

31. What is your favorite type of ice cream? Guinness ice cream is pretty nummy.

32. What store would you choose to max out a credit card? Why? Amazon or Barnes and Noble.

33. Right handed? Left handed? Righty.

34. Have you ever tackled someone? yep

35. What do you think about homosexual marriage? FABULOUS, ALWAYS.

36. Is there happiness in slavery? Hell to the no.

37. Have you ever made out with just a friend? More than just made out.

38. Do you shower daily? If I feel like it.

39. If you could change one thing about yourself, it would be: SUPERPOWERS.

40. Do you have a girlfriend? Sada is my helpmete, and Bridget is my hetero life partner. I also have the most amazing girl friends in the world.

41. Do you own a camera phone? yeah, but I don't really know how to use it.

42. Where did you go to school? Villa Walsh Hell-cadamy, Emerson College, College of St. Elizabeth, Simmons Graduate School of Social Work.

43. Do you believe in life after love? I'm still alive, ain't I?

44. Watching or playing sports? Neither, ever.

45. What is the longest you have gone without sleeping? about 36 hours, maybe more but the details get sketchy after that long.

46. What is the perfect day for you? Never getting out of my pajamas, and a liquor store that delivers. Bad tv movies help too.

47. Have you ever licked a battery? (and if you haven't WHY NOT, it's fun!) That is the dumbest thing I've ever been asked.

48. Favorite celebrity? yer mom.

49. Do you read much? Every moment I can.

50. Cappuccino or coffee? whiskey.

51. Are your parents still together? Yep.

52. Do you hate someone? I hate most people.

53. Have you ever been racist? Certainly never intentially.

54. Do you ever use your full name? Try to call me by a nickname and I'll punch you in the neck.

55. What's your favorite color? BLACK AS MY COLD DEAD HEART.

56. Collar popped or normal? This is another spectacularly stupid question.

57. Have you ever written a song? Hmm, I don't think so, no.

58. Last phone call? Telling Amazon they fucked up my order.

59. Would you pretend to be someone's bf/gf? Oh, probably.

60. Are you registered to vote? (And have you yet?) Yes and no

61. Do you believe in yourself? I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me.

62. Have you ever beat someone up? I've certainly tried.

63. Do you like yourself? Depends on the day.

64. Have you ever seen Switchfoot in concert? Who?

65. Tofu or bacon? Tofu most days, but sometimes ya get a hankerin', ya know?

66. Coke or Pepsi? Bourbon.

67. Do you get motion sickness? Nope.

68. Last time you were really really mad? Last time I WASN'T really really mad would be a better question.

69. Are you afraid of the dark? some of the alleys here are pretty dark...I eat muggers. Didn't you hear?

70. Do you believe in love? Grrrrrr....I don't like thinking about this.

71. Favorite year so far? 1977.

72. Do you brush and floss? Flossing sucks.

73. Have you ever gone a week without showering? Yep. Dirty girl!

74. Do you like taking surveys? Do you like beans? Do you like George Wendt?

75. Have you ever been beat up? HA! Uh, yes.

76. Do you believe in free will? Look! I just punched you in the face! Tada, free will.

77. Do you hold grudges? I used to, can't really be buggered to do it anymore.

78. Last time you spent $100, and what for? I just got back from Disney World. I am paralyzed by how much money I spent.

79. Have you ever walked more than a mile? See: Disney World. Also See: My wrecked feet.

80. Have you ever moshed? Yes indeedy. I even broke my back for Black Sabbath.

81. Boxers or briefs? Boxers or commando.

82. Have you ever prayed to Bhudda? I'm asking any deity who might be listening.

83. Do you send chain letters very often? NEVER EVER EVER.

84. Do you have a cell phone? yes, unfortunately.

85. What's your favorite band? The Mothers of Invention

86. Have you ever been toilet papering? Why? Yep, used to be a tradition with our neighbors.

87. Cell phone, land line, or talking with a mic on the computer? cell, when I bother to answer it.

88. Last time you saw your mom? December 29th.

89. Have you ever been drunk? Have I ever been sober?

90. Have you ever peed your pants after age 8? See #89.

91. Do you wear glasses? only if I want to see anything, ever.

92. Do you have a boyfriend? Fuck you.

93. Rock or rap? Rawwwwwwwwwwk.

94. Hamburgers or cheeseburgers? Sushi.

95. Why do you like the music you do? Because I like it.

96. Who is your newest friend? Bridget, that foxy lady.

97. Would you kill someone? Yes, yes I would. WATCH OUT.

98. Have you ever been hit on by the same sex? Yes, I find it a huge compliment.

99. Would you give money to a hobo? Yes, and I have.

100. Favorite athlete? What's an  "athlete?"

101. Have you ever been to a different country? Never even owned a passport. Sad, right?

102. Orange juice or apple juice? OJ, but any juice will do.

103. Would you drop out of school or quit your job? What job?

104. Have you ever read an article about defeating MySpace addiction? Yes. V.v. amusing.

105. Have you ever been surfing? Used to bodysurf and boogie board as a wee child.

106. What does the world need more of? cigarettes and bourbon.

107. What is your favorite sport? ultimate fighting is pretty amusing and super homoerotic, so I guess that's my favorite.

108. Do you drink soda? almost never. Probably never again after the Disney Incident.

109. Have you ever done yoga? Yep.

110. Where were you born? Morristown Memorial Hospital.

111. Have you ever been to a beach? Countless times.

112. What is your favorite musical instrument? skin flute. No really, the electric violin is pretty awesome.

113. What's your family like? Crazy as loons.

114. Are you rude? I am mad, bad, and dangerous to know.

115. Have you ever shoplifted? Yes

116. Meat or veggies? Veggies. Meat doesn't really agree with my system.

117. One goal you'd like to achieve this year: Get a job and a place to live.

118. Do you like walks in the park? Almost as much as rainbows and unicorns. Gah.

119. Fridays or Ruby Tuesdays? I don't enjoy food poisoning.

120. What size shoe do you wear? 5 1/2 or 6. I have freakishly small feet.

121. What are you listening to right now? The damn dogs barking.

122. Do you cry a lot? "a lot" is an understatement.

123. Do you get enough exercise? Does smoking count?

124. Who DID let the dogs out? Me. The damn things drive me CRAZY.

125. Who do you talk to most on the phone? My student loan company.

126. Have you ever been on a cruise? Twice. Preeeeeetty sweet.

127. Favorite day of the week? days I don't have to do ANYTHING.

128. What does the world need less of? Republicans

129. Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend? I'm better off without one for right now.

130. Would you cry if MySpace stopped working? No.

131. Why are they called fingers if they don't fing? I don't answer questions that are paralyzingly inane.

132. Do you believe in aliens? We'd be pretty damn pompous if we thought we were the only dudes around, wouldn't we?

133. Have you ever been in a movie? Yep, a couple, but I've never seen them.

134. Would you lie to your best friend? Depends.

135. Do you think Snoop Dogg sucks? WHAT? NO!!!!

136. What's your favorite TV show? Scrubs, probably. I love teevee.

137. Who have you met in real life after meeting them online? One blind date, once. Never again.

138. Have you ever been homeless? More or less, yes.

139. Have you ever failed a grade? Why? nope, I'm a winner.

140. Do you have a job? What is it? I have an incredibly expensive graduate degree and no job. Sometimes I pour beer at the Lucas Theatre.

141. Drums or guitar? geeeee-tar.

142. Have you ever sat on a rooftop? Yep.

143. Have you ever left the house naked? No, but I have definitely been naked in public.

144. Do you know how to drive a car? Yep, I'm an excellent driver.

145. Do you own a car? Bloodreigne is my new baby, but my heart will always belong to Blue Lightning.

146. Have you ever been to Six Flags or Cedar Point? Six Flags Great Adventure, yes.

147. Have you ever driven a Ferrari? no

148. Do you ever cook? If I must, or if the mood strikes me.

149. Rhyme, free verse, or slant rhyme? free verse or iambic.

150. How much cash do you have right now? Not a dime.

151. Would you eat human flesh for money? Ah, hell, why not.

152. Do you still use film for cameras? I use Meaghan for pictures. She's way better.

153. Would you dress as the opposite sex? I was a tall girl in a Catholic all-girls school. It took me six years  to finally play a woman in a play.

154. Have you ever cut off a limb? No...this is not "Saw" (I'm leaving Bridget's answer, cause that's hilarious.)

155. Are you artistic? yes, I like to think so.

156. Do you have any tattoos? Technically, I have two, but one takes up most of my back.

157. Have you ever eaten sushi? As much and as often as I can.

158. Have you been on drugs? anti-depressants and anti-anxieties. They didn't do crap.

159. Have you ever missed a meal because you were busy on myspace? no. That is lame.

160. How often do you visit your myspace/xanga/etc profile? everyday when I remember or care.

161. Have you ever smoked? Smoking is awesome.

162. If you could go to one place right now, it would be: in bed.

163. Who do you have a crush on now? Who can say? Maybe YOU!

164. Who do you talk to most on IM? L.A. Dan or Mark.

165. Have you ever met a celebrity? I've had sex with someone with a fan club, so I would have to say yes.

166. Favorite type of shoe? Big black boots.

167. How easily do you trust people? Not easily, that's for damn sure.

168. Ocean or pool? Pool. I don't care for ocean beasts eating my feet.

169. Snakes or rabbits? Hmm...snakes, I guess, but bunnies are cool too.

170. What's the sickest you've ever been? Major organ failure in June. That was...not fun.

171. Have you ever written a poem? yes, sadly. They were not good.

172. What is your favorite hair style? The extentions in my MySpace pic.

173. Favorite age you have been so far? 0-1

174. Last time you cried? about 16 hours ago.

175. Happy or depressing music? DEEEEEPRESSING!

176. Have you ever been on TV? Yep, several times.

177. Have you ever been on a boat? yep

178. What do you call those little plastic things on the ends of
shoelaces? The Little Plastic Things on the Ends of Shoelaces

179. What were you doing at midnight last night? Reading

180. Would you have plastic surgery? Ya never know.

181. What is one thing that annoys you? Most people and things.

182. Planes or boats? Boats.

183. Long or short hair? Short for me, long for boys.

184. Do animals go to Heaven? Animals deserve a Heaven way more that we do.

185. Pain or no gain? Pain, ya wuss.

186. Have you ever prank called someone? yep, my brother and I used to prank 1800-mattress all the time when we were young brats.

187. Do you wear perfume? Almost never.

188. What's the most common name you know? Michael or Kevin or Sean. Everyone in Boston is named one of these.

189. What's the longest car ride/road trip you've been on? LA to NJ. That was a hefty drive to say the least.

190. What was the last compliment you GAVE? You rock.

191. Have you ever sworn? Every chance I get.

192. Do you have any piercings? Um....11? No, 12. Yeah, 12.

193. Have you ever fallen in love with a best friend? I don't like these questions.

194. Have you ever made a promise you'd die to keep? Hmm, I don't recall.

195. Do you like sports? I like it when they fight during hockey games.

196. Do you like travelling? yeah, for the most part.

197. Have you ever been to a concert? countless.

198. What's the best concert you've seen? Ooooh, Tom Waits in 2000. Fo Sho.

199. What is your favorite female name? Lily or Emilia

200, What is your favorite song right now? Changes from moment to moment

Feb. 5th, 2007


Me = Not Someone to be Messed With

So I almost got mugged last night. This dude, who was clearly on a great deal of chemical refreshment started hassling me as I was walking to my car after a superfantastic SuperBowl party, and I kept saying "Dude, I have NO MONEY. NONE." Which was entirely true. Then he slurred that he wanted a date, and kept getting way too fucking close, and I was all alone. I dug in my bag for my phone (scared shitless at this point) and came across my old Albuteral inhaler. I grabbed it and, in a moment totally out of Stephen King's "It" aimed it at the dude and although I did not say "this is battery acid, you slime!" I DID say "This is mace. Get the hell away from me, RIGHT NOW." And he did. I didn't tell anyone till this morning, and to say the least, I got very little sleep last night. But I'm feeling supremely kick-ass today.

Feb. 1st, 2007


Signs I Know I'm in The South, Part the First

The air conditioner repair dude tried to convert me to Christianity this afternoon. 

He, uh...did not succeed.


The Post Before the Disney Post

Back! Sunburned! Sleep Deprived! Feet look like Chopped Meat!!! So yes, the Disney post is forthcoming, but not today, for I am sleepy. But I got my babies back this morning, and wouldn't you know it, the little fuckers precious babies that I love more than breath were SO GOOD at the vet that the vet techs said they'd FIGHT ME to KEEP THEM. Wow. 

The jist of it all is that I had a blast. But it goes deeper than that, and therefore the Real Disney Post will be up in a bit. Now I need to do some laundry and clean the car because wouldn't you know it, Stewie, who has never ever EVER had an accident outside the litter box pissed and shit all over the carrier and my BRAND NEW USED CAR the moment I put him in it. Yeah, maybe the vet techs CAN have him.

(That was a lie. I am beside myself with happiness to be back with them.)

(I swear to god, I'll stop talking about my cats now.)

(The World: "JEEZUS, Thank you.")

Jan. 27th, 2007


I'M GOING TO...oh god, that's so cliche.

yeah, so tomorrow we're all going to Disney World. I haven't been since I was 10, (my parents always said we'd go back, but they are lying liars who lie a lot) and I just dropped the cats off at the vet/kennel...I am the worst cat-mom ever. They've never been boarded, and looking at them in the cages...I cried my fucking eyes out. I am such a loser. My baaaaaaaaabies!!!!! Okay, I'll stop. (The World: "Thank God.")  I'll make up for it by calling EVERY DAY YES, VET, I WILL CALL EVERY DAMN DAY and they will hate me forever, but that's the way I dance, dudes.

In all my 29 years, I have never been on a rollercoaster, and there are many people who want to change that fact this weekend. I am skeered. 

SO! CAR!!!  I have a new car. She is pretty and red and her name is Bloodreigne. Because I am a dork. She's a 2002 Kia, and she is a dream. No frills, no automatic anything, but after driving a 1991 Cavalier for a million years, anything made in this decade is a treat. So yes. Now all I have to do is learn any kind of directions in Savannah. Cause I'm slow like that. 

Have a fab weekend, peoples, and pray to any deity you choose that I dont fall out of/barf on/die on anything at Disney.

Jan. 7th, 2007


I might be taking this a bit personally...

So I'm watching "You're the One That I Want." Stop judging me. For those with a life, it's a reality show about finding the Sandy and Danny for the new revival of "Grease." In the interest of full disclosure, I worked in casting for YEARS, and I am really feeling for the judges. I recall several thousand auditions wherein I would draw rude cartoons of me puking on these innocent kids' headshots, and passing notes to my boss that said "No, no, dear god, NO." And "Sweet Jesus, make it stop." I was not the kindest casting assistant in the world, let's just say. But this show, man. This show is going to be my crack, I can tell. Oh, the sweet, sweet pain. LOVE IT. 

I'm officially a southerner, I guess. I've been here one week, and have survived nicely, thank ya kindly. It was 80 fucking degrees here today, which is sick and wrong, but the rent! The rent prices are AWESOME. I'm looking at apartments that are in gated fucking communities, and the rent is absurdly low. This? Is fantastic. I also have to buy a car, as Blue Lightning sadly did not make the trip. Poor old girl would have never made it. Soooooooooo...buying a car. Yeah. I have no idea. I'd like one that doesn't blow up? One that won't put me in the poorhouse when I gas it up? One that was made in this decade? I'm seriously being a total girl and waiting for Stevil to have some time off to go with me. I have no goddamn idea how to buy a car. I drove Blue from the moment I got my licence to the day I moved, and no other car, ever, so things like "power steering" and "brakes" elude me. 

The poor cats, dudes. The poor fucking cats are a MESS. Not only are they ripshit about having to stay in my teeny bedroom 24/7, but there are four little teeny rat-dogs in the house, and when they yowl (all the time) the cats, especially Stewie, crap themselves with terror. Lulu glares at me all. the. time. So yes, the cats? Not feeling Savannah. Fo. Sho. 

I have no witty way to end this entry, so I'll just, y'all!!! (I hate myself.)

Dec. 23rd, 2006


Hello? Is this thing on?

So yes, I am here, I am packing (HAAAAAAAAAAATE) and looking for a job, an apartment, and a car. (HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!!!) I'll stay with Stevil's family till I get those things in order, because they freaking rule. I am also dealing with the charming US Government in attempts to get my licensing in order, and they clearly want me to kill myself, because they are evil and mean and keep sending me MORE forms and MORE forms and oh can you fill this out and give us an extremely unflattering passport photo of yourself and get this notarized and send us another check kthnxbye! Yeah. Suck. (Also: HATE!)

So the holidays. Yeah. Um, I really don't have anything to say about that. I can't afford to get anyone anything, and I already got my prezzie when I passed my exam (If anyone knows how to use an iPod, let me know!) so it's really kind of a non-event for me. I'll be packing. Packing, and mourning my hair, which I was stupid enough to get RUINED at Supercuts yesterday, because I am a fucking moron. Oh, my poor hair.

I hope everyone else has a lovely holiday, and I will report from the move, if I survive, and maybe I can whack out an entry that is not almost entirely in parentheses. No promises though.


Dec. 16th, 2006



I am alive. 

Passed my boards...on the first try!

Moving to Savannah on Dec.29.

I have a bandaid on my finger and it makes typing complicated. More later.

Oct. 8th, 2006



I haven't updated in a bajillion years!

Tragically,  I can only speak in the language of love.


(For those of you who don't get the Eddie Izzard reference, go school yourselves, post haste.)


I am the definition of overwhelmed. Money! Job! Home! What to do!!?!??!? I do not know.


To put it simply (too late) I need money, and some sanity, to get the hell out of Jersey and to Georgia. I need to take my boards, and find some money for a storage space and a U-Haul, and GET OUT. 

Also, I need to squish with love a certain lady who will remain nameless for she is in a time of need and I loave her.


I'm fucking working on it, dudes. Oy.

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